Tranquil Chaos

Six Weird Things

2006-03-28T17:35:00.000-08:00

Apparently I should write six strange things about myself.

In ascending order of weirdness (in my opinion).

6. I have some kind of strange need to exemplify any compliments I am given. So if someone says that I can eat a lot while I am eating, I tend to overfill myself attempting to live up to the compliment. I guess this generally tends to make me an extremist, as I keep pushing those things that I can do, and forget about those that I cannot.

5. I think that I have a perfect feel for the beat in a song, but people keep telling me that I do not. When I tap or move along with a beat, it feels as though I am hitting the underlying notes with almost mechanical precision, but Natalie tells me that I am inbetween the beats, which is about as far off as one could get, being that the beat is cyclic. In terms of this, I would like some other musical official to make a decision, maybe Scotty can see if I am hitting them.

4. I like pain. Sometimes if something is painful, like an infected cut or something swollen, I like to keep pressing it or even hitting it against things, just hard enough that I think it is not causing additional damage, but hard enough that it not only hurts, but allows me to determine that it was not more painful than before (therefore not getting worse).

3. I have a near pathalogical need to tell the truth. I tend to lie, on average, once every few months. Usually I do this to spare someone's feelings, but then I worry for days after that they will find out I lied, making up ludicrous scenarios by which they discover me, and my entire life is ruined.

2. I have a truely pathalogical need to look everyone in the eyes when I am not talking to them. This is not to say that I do not look people in the eyes when I talk to them, I usually do at some point in the conversation, but rather, whenever I pass someone on the street, or am standing near someone, or sitting across from someone, I can not help but stare at their eyes or least steal a quick glance. I am certain that I unsettle some people with this, but I can't help it for some reason.

1. I have very elaborate conversations with "others" in my head. That is to say that I tend to have discussions with someone else in my head, so I might be talking with Aimee in my head, and the things she would say, would seem to be something that Aimee would say, I also see her face and body language, and they tend to seem real and match how she acts. Many times the things the other person will say are completely new to me, that is to say that I would never have thought of things in that way, and I actually tend to learn or come to new outlooks through these conversations. Additionly, I sometimes talk with more than one other person, but usually less than four others. Sometimes I even start discussing with them how I am discussing things with them, and how that is weird because they are not real, and then sometimes we start discussing the discussing, and it starts looping out of control, the farthest it got was 4 nestings of the loop (discussing the discussion of discussing the discussion), at that point I was afraid I might be going mad and stopped it.

The Affects of Happiness

2006-03-21T18:15:00.000-08:00

Just a heads up, there will be exactly three gramatical erros in this post, spelling errors not included, your job is to find all three.

So, many of us realized long ago that being happy is nessesarily a transient state, because it requires sadness to contrast the happiness, otherwise the happiness fades into a null state. This fact has hit me hard the last few days, as I just concluded a wonderful weekend at home with Natalie, only to return to a dreary and boring job, in a lonely city.

Long ago, my mother enrolled me in some kind of day-camp. Now, I always said that I hated that place, but she kept me in because I was always so happy at the end of the day, and agreeable, whereas I was miserable when she picked me up from the place I wanted to go to. Of course, this results from being miserable at the day-camp, and being overjoyed to be leaving at the end of the day, and likewise, I was happy at the other place, and didn't really want to leave.

I find it most tragic that happiness must always be shown on a background of despair.

Chronic Noise

2006-03-16T18:29:00.001-08:00

So, I have been getting really tired at work, and generally irritable, and then, I started getting very minor headaches. Now, as you may know, I get a headache maybe once every few months at most, unless I do something totally stupid, like not eat for an entire day. In fact, before moving into Hickory (in Waterloo), I think I probably had a headache once a year if that. So you can imagine that of all the things, the headaches started to get me thinking. I considered maybe solvent fumes, since I am doing organic chemistry, but some of the solvents have a very potent smell, even at extremely minute levels, and I generally don't smell anything, so I somewhat ruled that out.

Eventually, I began to consider to the noise in the work area. Basically there are 3 old-school fumehoods, which pump out enough volume as to make you slightly raise your voice in order to speak to people, this is the minimum sound, since they must always be running. In addition there are 3 vacuum things, which can pump out a fair bit of noise, and usaully one is running. Then there are other sounds often going on.

So, I looked up the effects of chronic low level noise, and found to my shock, that not only is there a reasonable amount of information in phycological journals, but CBC's Marketplace, actually did a report on this some time ago, and found that the effects of low level noise in the workplace can include:

Headaches
Tiredness
Agression
Low Moral
Stress
Lowed Immune Activity

At this point I considered that I have been enjoying my job less and less since arriving, even though the job has not changed, and in fact, could be considered to have improved. That is 4 on the list right there, and recently I have been having a little trouble sleeping, which is odd for me, and sleep disorders often stem from stress.

Anyway, today I put on some ear protection headphone type thingies, and within 20 minutes, my headache was gone, and by the afternoon I was somewhat happy, and didn't feel tired during the day. Now this is not proof that the problem was noise, but it is good anecdotal evidence.

I am considering doing my workterm report on this.

German Cooking

2006-03-06T16:58:00.000-08:00

So I was at Natalie's house this weekend, and ate some wonderful german fare. For those who do not know, german fare usually consists of a healthy portion of meat, a healthy portion of potatoe type thing, and then those same healthy portions repeated three times more.

Now, I absolutely love meat and potatoes, but, my intestinal tract seems to not be quite up to the task of digesting all that protein. The result is that I was dropping dense gas bombs in the lab all day. Fortunately, there are fumehoods everywhere, and my boss was away, so things were not a big problem.

Of course, if one eats a lot of vegetables, one also generates a lot of gas, but it is odourless gas.

I will hold another poll, which is worse,

Lots of odourless gas, or, a small amount of foul gas?

To Ass, But or Bum?

2006-03-02T15:59:00.000-08:00

I recently conducted a quick poll of the younger people at work. The question was as so, "What is the sexier word: ass, but, or bum?". For the purpose of the question you need to consider whatever context is most sexual for you, for instance, "I want to grab your _______" or "I want to love you in the _______" or "you have one fine ________".

Anyway, between 1 gay guy, 2 unknown sexuality girls, one maybe bisexual guy, and myself, there was unanimous agreement that 'Ass' was the sexiest of the options. Between the other two there was some disagreement as to which was worse, but it was generally agreed that 'But' was not very sexy, and seemed more fecal than 'Ass', and 'Bum' was just plain pedophilic and should be scrapped immediately, which I found quite entertaining, as if only children had bums, and once you pass puberty your bum enters a stage of metamorphosis and becomes an ass.

Anyway, feel free to weigh in on the subject. If there was, or I knew of the way to include an online poll in my blog, I would.

Keep in mind that regardless of the results of this poll, it is still ok to "Bum around the house" if you are lazy, you need not suddenly start claiming that you are "Assing around today", because that of course would give the impression that you are whoring your ass around the town for wooden nickels.

Jahari Window

2006-02-20T19:09:00.000-08:00

Here is my Jahari Window thing. I will likely need many more people than there are that read this blog to get anything real from it. At the moment, my opinions are entirely a facade, which is quite tragic. BTW, Aimee, I am impressed that you have no facade at the moment, you are self-aware I suppose.

http://kevan.org/johari?name=AronBroom

Communism and Capitalism

2006-02-19T07:52:00.000-08:00

Warning: Opinionated Material

So, I am on the bus with Jimbo Jones, a bus which has arrived late. It is determined that the reason the bus is late is because there is currently a municipal worker strike, and they are holding up the leaving of the buses.

So, Jimbo starts in with the usual "Why are they striking? They get paid enough already, they should just f*ckoff". To this I ask "Why do you think they get paid enough?". Jimbo replies, "Like, the Janitors get paid $20/hour to clean toilets", who knows if this figure is accurate. I then ask "Ok, but why is $20/hour enough? Many people get paid more than $20/hour". Jimbo, after wondering how somehow could ask such a question, replies, "Because they have no education, anyone with just a high school education could do that job". I again ask, "And why do you think that education should determine the rate of pay?". At this point Jimbo is momentarily taken aback, then he states, "Because more people are capable of doing that job".

Now, the argument goes on for some time, but let us skip the dialogue, and just look at this thing in detail. Jimbo's opinion that pay should be inversely proportional to the number of people that can do the job (pay goes down as more people are able to do the job) is actually a common opinion to hold, and consequently the opinion that pay should be proportional to education is also common. But is this the right opinion?

Now wait a minute, says Aimee, an opinion can be neither correct nor incorrect. Well, this is just not true. One must remember that we live in a free society (we can leave and emmigrate to another country at any time) and that our country is based on a capitalist economic foundation. This means that if you do not agree with capitalism, you should leave, and if you stay, you are wrong, because by staying in a country you agree to the overriding principles behind its laws and economics and politics, even if you may not always agree with the particular laws or political decisions made. This is like being married or something to that effect, you agree to the idea that you must support this person, even if you know that not every decision they make will be in agreement with your own.

So, back to the argument, what about this whole 'more people, less money' thing? Well, if we were in a communist society, this might be true and correct, since the government decides what the rate of pay will be for the available jobs, and in an effort to deversify and expand the populations potential, they offer higher pay for more difficult jobs or jobs that require more eduction or specific skilled training. Now, this may sound like a good idea, but keep in mind that if you look at the list of best countries in which to live, which is put out by some world organization, you will not generally find communist contries very high on the list, the top contenders are always capitalist societies, so perhaps we should avoid this communism thing.

Ok, then, so what about capitalism, if communism pays more for a job that less people can do, how does capitalism determine the wroth of a job. In capitalism, it is based on a 'supply and demand' structure, so if there is a need for X janitors to clean toilets, but less than X people actually WANT to do the job, which has nothing to do with how many CAN do the job, then the rate of pay will increase until at least X number of people are willing to do the job. In this way it can be seen that in our society, education usually improves pay, because there are many jobs requiring higher education, and not everyone possesses this, but it is not a rule. Moreover, this means that if noone else wants to clean toilets, and the janitor's strike, it is quite reasonable for them to demand more money, and in fact we should be happy that they are doing this, because they are bargaining, and excersising their capitalist rights, which we would all like to maintian. So the next time you complain that someone is getting paid too much for a job that is too mundane, ask yourself, "If this job is so easy, and the pay so great for what they are doing, why am I not doing this job?", and when you realize that you would hate that job, you will realize why the pay is so good.

Science Ninja

2006-02-15T19:50:00.000-08:00

Ok, so I am a science nerd like my good friend Aimee, and maybe she will be the only one to appreciate this tale.

So I am working in the organic chemistry lab... that I work at... (austin powers moment). Anyway, I need a metal paper clip, as an ad hoc stir bar for an oil bath. Well, I look around and cannot find one, so I ask Jimbo Jones who works in the fumehoods next to me for a paper clip. He claims that he doesn't have one, but I clearly see one on the fume-hood bench. I walk over and try to grab the paper clip, but discover that with my Nitrile gloves, it is very hard to pick up. A brief fight ensues as Jimbo and I wrestle over the paper clip, in the end he makes a mad swing at it, and manages to swat it deeper into the fume hood. I rush around him to get it, but he is closer and manages to actually get it off the bench, he then drops it into the sink at the back of the hood. He assumes that it went down, but I guess that it did not. I say nothing and walk back to my fumehood, and snag a magnetic rod, usually used for getting stir bars out of flasks. With the rod concealed behind my back, I walk back to Jimbo, then, like a cat, poke the rod into the sink and pull it back out. Jimbo looks into the sink, and not seeing the paper clip, thinks that he has won, at which point a pull the paper clip off the magnetic rod and gloat about how I am a freakin' Science Ninja.

So in short I am awesome, and this should be a lesson concerning the amazing powers of science and resourcefullness, and how I am an uber-ninja.

A Lynx in the Reeds

2006-02-13T18:34:00.000-08:00

I was home for the weekend, in wintery Orillia. I had originally intended to partake in the Polar Bear Dip, in which people jump into the lake through a hole cut in the ice, and then jump back out and get warmed up. I discovered, much to my dismay, that a pledge of $50 was required, and so I decided that the people running the event could kiss my hairy polar bear ass, and I would not take part in their stupid event anyway.

Well, later that weekend, I discovered that a Lynx had been spotted in Orillia, very close to where I live. Upon considering the places where the sightings had occured, I concluded that it must live in a certain wetland area. Walking along the road around this area, I discovered a set of four large cat/dog prints, organized as though the creature was bounding. Upon further examination, I found another set a little over a meter into the swamp, and from there was able to follow these bounding tracks for about 100 meters, before, out of nowhere, I fell waist deep into freezing swamp water. At this point I pulled myself out of the swamp, followed the tracks for another 30 meters or so, and then decided that if I wanted to keep my feet, I should start jogging back to home. So I never found the Lynx, but I did get a good jog in, and I got to do my own polar bear dip.

All in all, I must conclude that I am an uber-ninja adventurer.

Sick People At Work

2006-02-08T18:36:00.000-08:00

Ok, so here is the deal; I am a coop student, so I do not have the right to sick days, being days for which I am not at work, but am payed for. The reason sick days were created, was to ensure that people who were actually sick did not come in to work and infect others, or perform work unsafely or improperly due to their sickness.

Since I am not entitled to sick days, I must try my best not to get sick, because a single missed day of work will cost me ~$110 net (after taxes), and I do not want to lose that kind of cash. This means that should I get sick, I will basically stumble in to work anyway, and do crappy work and get everyone else sick. This is understandable, however, since I am a dog and don't have the human right to be sick.

But what about all the people walking around my work hacking away. Why have they come in? Thye have sick days, and this is february, so clearly they have not run out of their sick day quota. Moreover, many of them do not have a daily function that must be performed. For instance, I could understand a secretary coming in sick, because someone needs to do that job every day. But what about the manager? Managing is not required in the same manner, you could catch up on some of it when you got back, or even try to do some from home.

So, many of the people hacking their viral filled phlegm at me, do not need to be at work, they are payed to think and manage, and so could take a day off, or at the very least they could stay in their offices with a gas mask on, and not throw their crap at me.

I would of course feel completely different if I had sick days, because then I would not care so much if I got sick, since I know that I am healthy enough that I would never exceed my sick days, so it would be like a break. Of course, of I was naturally unhealthy, then I would still be angry at all these damned sick people.

So far my friday night with a sick Aimee and sick Natalie, followed the next weekend by a 3 hour drive in the car with a sick Natalie and sick dad, have not resulted in me getting sick (knock on wood), but I feel that it is only a matter of time, and have decided not the trim my nose hairs for the duration of the winter, just so that I have maximum sheilding against airborne infectious materials.

The Pacer

2006-02-02T19:10:00.000-08:00

Alright, so we all know and understand how annoying it is when someone is walking too close behind you for a prolonged period of time. Well, the other day I was waiting at the bus stop, and this weird man kept pacing around, RIGHT behind me. I was feeling extremely uncomfortable, and was very much on edge, wondering if I should: step around behind him (although that might be rude), turn around and back hand across the race (also slightly rude), or just stand listening to his movements and waiting for the sound of the knife, so that I could pull some ninja move on his ass.

Anyway, as I stood there, waiting for my ninja move moment, I noticed that he was mumbling to himself, so now I had a crazy lunatic pacing around directly behind me, no doubt having an argument with his imaginary tormentor, about killing me. In the end, I could take it no more, and turned around and just watched him, determined to break out my samurai skills on him, should he show any signs of agression.

Superficiality

2006-01-30T18:10:00.000-08:00

I have, for many years, been strongly of the the "Function Over Form" belief structure. Recently I have encountered several who are of the opposite, those whom we might call superficial. Now, at first this was somewhat amusing. For instance, I once commented that when I became a professor (knock on wood) I would go to lecture with bed hair, and whatever clothing I could find. Normally, I would expect a response to such a statement to consist of some saying that this is a bad idea because of my professional image, or that it is rude, or something to that extent, which I would discount, but understand nevertheless. Recently, however, I get this insane response, wherein the person was almost sickened by my saying this, as though I had suggested killing someone and wearing their intestines as a wig. I mean come on, this is bad hair we are talking about, not "The Thing from the Bog", give me a freakin' break!

At another time, when I was on a bus which is generally filled with people whom might be considered to be economically challenged, one of these superficial types, starts yammering on about how it is such a shame that they now make a fake (insert designer handbag name here), and how those used to be a sign of distinction, but now that "poor people" can buy them, they are not worth having. What?! Do people actually say these things out loud? Fortunately, there were no physcos on the bus, otherwise we may have been less one superficial jackass.